All these lonely people

When I drive through the roads of Dhaka, or take a short stroll around the neighborhood, I almost never take a look around. Whenever I'm angry with a rickshaw puller or a pedestrian who think the road were previously owned by their forefathers, I seldom have a good look at them. At times I scream at them or give them a look which, given a chance, would have killed them. Over the years I managed to distance myself from all the things that lie outside the comfort of my car; roads that I travel or places where I go! Life has changed so much, realities too! Things get filtered before they appear in my eyes. I see what I want to see, how I want to see them. I started looking at things through a tinted glass.

At times, unmindfully, when I look them in their eyes, I see despair. I see how agonized they have been. A sense of helplessness, sadness and, at times, anger surface in their eyes. One good look in their eyes and you can tell how life has treated them so far, their past and present and even the future. It gets me to think, if there is a god, he must have been one eyed! How could he be so inattentive to the needs of all these people who, in no way, are responsible for their birth?

Sometimes I think, there is a fine line between being what we are now and what we could have been! I could have easily been born into a family as theirs, so devoid of hopes and dreams, not knowing what tomorrow might bring for me! I could be looking at the could-have-been-me in the car who would seldom take a good look in my eyes and understand what it means to be 'me'.

When I look them in the eyes I feel pain. I try to imagine my life if I were one of them! How does it feel to be like them? Live their life? Go back to their shabby little place they call home! Does it feel like life when you know there's not much to hope for, nothing more to long for. Do they dream, dream of a life without a fear, and so full of love! Do they want to touch the girl in the car, tousle her hair, kiss her mouth and tell her how they love her so much? Do they dream to own a car some day and drive past the speeding vehicles all around!

What could life be like if there's nothing left to dream? How painful could that be! When I look them in the eyes I try to feel their loneliness, and at times my eyes get wet. But for a very short period while I’m on the road. When I get to work and my life begins, I tend to forget all about it! I realize the loneliness of all these people doesn't get better no matter how I want to feel about it. They are lonely because they don’t have god by their side.