of love and other demons

i was told love was Divine. it comes from deep within. you feel this sense of wilderness as you feel love, you are lost, lost in the middle of everything. everything you touch turns blue. you build this imaginary castle where you are the king (a little lonely though!), where your queen awaits you. you feel you can wait a lifetime to be with her, hold her hand, hug her tight as you feel her breathing softly in your face. you tousle her hair. you hold her drooping face little loosely. nervously you kiss and million flowers bloom, birds sing and suddenly it starts to rain. and you feel you can be like that forever!!

i believed all these and more. i even felt somewhat similar, all in the past though. i still can remember the first few days, months of constant nausea caused by nervousness, added to love. the anticipation of seeing her and the uncertainty of it, enough space between two meetings, made love a thing to really pursue! it was anything but a mammalian drive! it was a different day, a different time where the sun used to shine and birds used to sing. (afterall!)

do i still believe that! i so wish love could be looked upon like that forever. the impression of love changed its form and meaning ever since. it doesn't turn everything i touch into blue anymore. no longer does it make me feel like a puppy in want of comfort. the eyes that once were never weary of hers, are now bowed in sorrow under pendulous lids.

love is waning, everyday, every moment. poor little passion falls asleep. how far away the stars seems, how far is our first kiss, the shyness that made you shiver!! and how old is our heart?

that we are tired, for other love await us?

before us lies eternity, our soul, our love ...and a continual farewell...